Archive for the 'Life' Category

Christmas

In a way this post is a Commencement part 2. Because a lot of what occured over Christmas had to do, I think, with the commencement.

So the following week my sister’s family came down to spend Christmas with my mom, but on the way, my Uncle (one who also shouldn’t have known about the commencement) called her and told her about it. This left me with really quite an odd dilemma… I knew she would find out eventually, but I never really thought it would occur less than a week after the ceremony and just 3 days before Christmas!!! I at this point no longer even wanted to go to my mother’s house for dinner, and I certainly didn’t want to go for just “hanging out sake.” They convinced me to go for dinner, and luckily (or unluckily) they got a call from a neighbor saying their furnace went out and rushed back up directly after dinner. They were worried their pipes would freeze and burst which is a worthy concern! Because of this I didn’t have to sit around too long in the awkwardness.

For the record, when she was asking why she wasn’t invited, I didn’t really say it was because I didn’t like her or anything. I just said she didn’t do anything and I wasn’t really upset with her for anything. It is kind of implied obviously that I don’t like her in that but I didn’t actually SAY that.

While we did have dinner at my mom’s, our actual celebration is held off till New Years. The reason for this is largely because it is easier to get my daughter during this period for a longer time, but it has also made their Christmas’ easier to deal with as my sister can then go to their in-laws without concern for ours. So the following week, we drive up to her area for her to host Christmas this year. This turned out to be the real disaster…

On the Sunday, my mom calls and finds out if she has anything plan. Our thought was that we would likely eat at my sister’s that night and come back to the hotel with her family to swim. So my mom calls, and finds out that we should head over. We get there and spend 2 hours sitting around watching a Vikings game that no one cares about and then we eat. Afterwards, we go and begin to open presents (something we just assumed we would do the next day as we had about 14-16 hours to fill with new years!) By this time my daughter is tired, and cranky, and apparently sick as she puked later that night at the hotel. My daughter stops opening presents after opening half of hers before she gets bored and whiny and stops wanting to open presents. We quickly finish off the rest of the family’s presents, and pack up our stuff and head out. Only to find out that she wants us up, ready, and back at her house for breakfast by 9am in the morning!!! This is far too early as if we are lucky all of us will be up at 8am which would allow us just 1 hour to get everyone showered, and drive there just to eat a breakfast we would prefer to eat at the hotel at our leisure! So I quickly ask her if we can’t just eat the breakfast for lunch and then we would come at like 11am, a time much more reasonable for us to handle. She kindly lets us out of this and we actually return to the hotel angry that she has us all so harshly scheduled at her house that we can’t get a break and my daughter is crying because she thought we would go swimming that night, and then of course she pukes!

The next day starts out better, my mom takes my daughter to the pool early in the morning to get her some of her swimming in and we decide that because we missed swimming the day before, we should go that day, and we quickly realize that sledding needs to be left out as two huge physical activities and the swimming was far more important. So we get to my sister’s about an hour early, and tell her that we’d just rather not go sledding and we would prefer going swimming in the afternoon. My sister gets really pissed, slams her cooking around in the kitchen, refuses to talk for like an hour or two, and then forces her family to go sledding without us later in the day.

Luckily after that, the trip got a little better, we went swimming another time the following day, and my sister decided to go for a short time with her family. My daughter was extremely happy to have had the chance to swim and play with them so I’m happy we actually got that opportunity.

So yeah, the whole thing was an utter disaster, and I’m thinking likely in part due to the timing of the commencement thing. I don’t htink my sister would have gotten as huffy about the sledding thing had it not been for this issue. After all, she didn’t even particularly want to go sledding in the first place. I don’t know what is going to happen in future family events with get-togethers. As it stands I no longer wish to go up to their house. Maybe next year I will travel to see my brother with my daughter so that she has a chance to really visit with their family and maybe my sister will not be able to do such a trip and I can avoid a year. At the very least, I likely won’t see or hear from my sister for a few months, which I’m more than a little happy to know.

Commencement

After long thought, I decided to attend my graduation commencement a couple weeks ago. But when I made this decision, I decided that I would only do it under my terms. I wasn’t going to invite everyone just for the sake of doing so, and I wasn’t going to make a gigantic deal out of it. So I invited my mom, my brother, my aunt & uncle, and my best friend and her family, and left my sister out of the invitation rounds, choosing not to tell her at all that I was going to do it. I thought it would be better than saying to her, yeah I’m doing it but you can’t go because I don’t like you.

We also decided to do a small casual dinner with everyone afterwards at my favorite restaurant, but nothing major. My friend’s family decided not to go to this part so it was mostly my family and everyone told stories of their graduation, as one might expect to find at such a party. I decided since I was going ahead and doing it that I would go all out, so not only have a little dinner, but I also got graduation pictures taken, I went and got a nice outfit that could be used to graduate as well as pictures and interviews in the future. I ordered said pictures, and will order my walking pictures as well, both of which are very abnormal for me. And I went through all the crap to get a cap & gown and what not, I will likely be donating to my school at some point of my life, but I want to wait until I have more of an income before I do that.

The commencement itself was fine. My friend had a friend who was also graduating who invited me to sit next to her, which I did and was glad she invited me because otherwise I would have felt much more alone for the whole thing. I got to talking with some guy who was sitting next to me as well and had a fairly good time throughout. Scott Van Pelt was the special speaker. It was kind of odd, I didn’t feel he represented me at all as I don’t know who he is in particular, he had references to cartoons I’ve barely seen, and jokes targeted at a younger and different crowd. He definitely was not a speaker intended for me, but at the same time he did a fairly good job and had a couple good jokes to tell and interesting stories on how he got to become an ESPN anchor in the first place.

The whole ceremony itself went rather well, and I think it will turn out well in my life that I did choose to go to this, but for now I am a bit torn on whether it was all worth the time and money that it cost.

Merry X-mas!

Merry Christmas everyone!

If you are a regular to this blog, you may be wondering where exactly I have been. Well, with the holidays, finals, and graduation, I have been extremely busy and this has been something that needed to get cut out in order for me to make the time to do homework and papers and such. Over the next few days I plan on adding a lot of new posts including information on how my new guild has been going, how graduation went, a few movie reviews, plans for the future, and site updates. It should be an interesting few weeks and hopefully everyone finds something interesting to read about.

Laxxed

I have been kind of laxxed the last few weeks on updating this site. It has been a very trying couple of weeks and when push comes to shove, I just have not really felt like it.

Last week I got an F on a paper for my Frank Lloyd Wright class and this kind of put me in a tale-spin. I feel that this is my favorite class, that I am learning the most from it, and that the paper I wrote was among my best papers over the last couple of years (of which my worst grade has been a low B). With only two total papers I felt the only thing left to do was to drop the course entirely. This was a very difficult decision because I really did like the class, but at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter for my graduation so I just decided to kick it. It will help me get a little more time at any rate.

However, this drop will leave me without my best study time which has been the four to five hours between classes on Tuesdays. Because of this, I decided that I will stick around campus for an hour or two after classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays in order to make up the time. And sometimes I plan to still go to my FLW class as the prof doesn’t take any attendance. I really have found that I get much better studying done away from home than at home. I get too distracted there.

As if this wasn’t enough for my psyche, I have been having a wealth of “relationship” dreams which have been putting me into a state of eternal loneliness. I haven’t really felt that I could talk to my roommate about any of these problems either so I have this sense of being alone that I just haven’t felt in a very long time, if ever. I feel very alone right now, both for not having a girlfriend, and for not having anyone that I feel that I can reliably talk to who actually understands what I am going through.

It isn’t all bad though. I’ve been really getting into my books from Recent fiction and my recent paper for it came very easily to me which I was happy about. In addition to this, I saw Across the Universe this past weekend and this combination has left me feeling very artsy. Because of this, I have gotten back into writing my book and I am pleased with this progress. I feel like I really am doing a better job at fleshing out my story, though sometimes I think I am setting into the details a little too much.

Busy Busy

Been busy of late. On Sunday, I have a  2-3 page paper that I still haven’t even really started, though I think I can finish that tomorrow. I have a 15-minute presentation due on Monday which i’ve just barely started but have no idea where I’m going on it. And the following Monday I have a 5 page paper due that I’m still figuring out a topic for.

On top of all that this week I have been suffering from a major bleed in my left elbow that has been keeping me on Oxycodone almost completely non-stop for the last 3 days. I took my medicine on Wednesday morning and that stopped the throbbing, but it is still painful so today I am going in for a second infusion. Being drugged and in pain, not to mention the constant sleeping due to the drugged bit, has made it difficult for me to start on these projects which is part of the reason that I haven’t really started the two first projects until now. I also missed my day of study on Tuesday because I needed to come home and take some oxycodone cause I was in too much pain and that often puts me behind on homework.

To make matters worse, my roommate is going on a date tonight in which the guy will be coming over to get ready before hand so we have been cleaning the house a lot the last couple of days, taking up even more of my time. And tonight I get my daughter which will make working on my projects difficult, and I need to stop and get lunch I think before I go to get my medicine because I’m starving and don’t really want to make something. Though I’ve been going out to eat a lot lately which I can’t afford to do so I think I just need to make something here and eat it. Would be healthier that way anyway.

When it rains it pours.

Back to School

Well tomorrow is my first day of classes of the year. Given that my car roof is still broken, I am needing to borrow my roommate’s car to get to class, and I have made an appointment with my brother-in-law to bring up my car and get it fixed over this coming weekend.

So I’ve gotten all my class print outs ready, put them in my notebook, got my notebook prepared with a pen & all. I got my schedule worked out with my roommate about how we should deal with drop offs & pick ups for her work since I will need the car. And I have the iPod up to date with my latest podcasts and my new playlist that I made over the last week.

To prepare mentally, I spent the afternoon finishing up the book I was reading from the summer (I will likely put a small review of it up over the next few weeks), I played both Tabula Rasa as well as EQ2, I read some of my Equinox magazine (again I will likely put a review of that up shortly as well), and watched as much Heroes as I could as I will likely not have a ton of time to watch em once school really gets under way.

I’m still not really ready mentally for school, but we gotta do what we gotta do. I am a little excited over seeing some of the classes, and am also very hopeful that some other classes open up and allow me to have a better schedule, but overall I am very pleased with my current schedule.

Lost

I have been very retrospective of my MMO career the past week. I’ve been thinking of past friends, past games, past joy, past sorrow. I look at where I am now and where I’ve been, and I wonder what happened to me. There are many things I wouldn’t change about myself at all. My knowledge about the genre in general, and how to act for two. But then I wonder why I’m not as nice as I once was, why my goals in the game has changed so drastically much, why my play style, while still playing a lot has changed to the point of unrecognizing the importance of what you do.

When I was younger, I didn’t play for the loot quite as much, I didn’t play for the levels. I played because I wanted to hang out with my friends that I met online. Even more important I wanted to meet new people. I loved meeting all the various people online, in fact I can just think of my younger self telling me how foolish I am now for not wanting to do that still. Now, I am extremely anti-social, as much so online as I am off, something that never used to be true. I once thought the greatest part of these games was your ability to meet people whom you would have no chance of meeting in real life, no longer. Now it is all about the stats, the gear, the loot.

I once liked all those things, but it was never important. Yeah we would go out and camp the giants in YS to get some quick xp in order to level up a few times in a night, but it was more about hanging out with my friends. Now, even when I am out with friends, there is little fun to be had, it is more about finishing quickly so that we can earn more xp or get more loot than before. A good example of this is our raid alliance which is considering going DKP, and we instantly start thinking about setting up our own raids, and i start thinking about “do we have the pieces to do it?” Instantly I start thinking of all the classes that we have in our guild, and all the classes that another guild has that would come with so that we can have successful raids. But now, I sit here and wonder, why do we even care about raids? There are plenty of difficult places that we could go to hang out as a group. Raids are just a means to an end and we can find that end elsewhere. Yes the loot is nice, but it is secondary and somewhere I’ve lost track of that.

I’ve lost track of what these games are really about. And while I know that it is about hanging with friends, and not about loot, stats, or how fast we can go through a zone, I don’t really know how I can get back. I can on the base stop caring about loot and all that… but will it make me the more pleasant, fun, carefree, and outgoing player that I once was? I don’t know. I wish I knew how to be that guy again, but I don’t, and it makes me really sad. Because truth be told, I had a lot more fun back in those days when I was that player.