Archive for the 'Current Events' Category

A note to the news media: I know why he did it.

Everyone in the media has been postulating why it was that the shooter killed everyonoe at Virginia Tech and I think I have an answer as to why. I have seen many photos of the deviant deluging my television screen since the shooting and I have noticed one thing in particular…. he is wearing a shirt in every single picture! It is obvious that this man was obsessed with shirts so much that he felt the need to wear one all the time! This obsession finally broke a tipping point when he felt he should be the only one who is allowed to wear shirts and started with the only logical step… to kill hot women who wear shirts and anyone who might try to stop him from declothing these women. After this moment, he stopped and pondered for a minute why anyone should wear shirts but him and started shooting people in mass in the area of school most likely to make shirts… the engineering department. It is shocking, but it is true. Shirts are the downfall of american society. We need to immediately disrobe our tops and burn them never to be clothed again, or risk having some other freakazoid like Seung-hui going off on mass murder sprees. Disrobe america!