Archive for May, 2006

More sticks

Decided not to go yesterday to get my daily factor because, well I’m not sure if I really needed to go and I am getting tired of getting stuck. My arms couldn’t really take more. So I skipped yesterday in favor of going today.

And yes, the nurse I had on Friday was my nurse again today. I saw her when i checked in sitting at the nurse’s station but the check-in lady was on the phone so I couldn’t request her or anything. Plus they were really busy so I didn’t know if I could even request on such a day anyway. So I went in the waiting area and it didn’t take long for her to come out and call another patient. She waved and me and smiled and I smiled back at her and waved back. I didn’t linger too long so hopefully that was a good move. I then could do nothing but hope that they got to choose who got me and that she would get me again today. Sure enough in half hour to 45 minutes she came out and called me. YAY.I had a lot of fun with her, found out more about her. Didn’t ask her out… felt self-concious about it. Unlike Friday when I was essentially alone with her, this time there were patients and nurses EVERYWHERE. I kept wondering if others could hear and I just couldn’t ask her for her number. I told her I’d probably be back on Friday so hopefully I can get her yet again.

I do need to hurry and ask her though. I don’t think I can go to her for too long. I don’t like getting poked in my forearms and she doesn’t seem to be able to get my forearms anyway (so far she is 0/3), and she doesn’t like going in my anicubicle (elbow pit) which are my better vains. Eventually I am going to have to switch nurses out of necessity, so I am going to have to try to get her number before that happens. I can put up with the the pokes for awhile, but it would be best if I didn’t have to. On the other side of things, if I do get to choose her for Friday and she knows I asked for her, it will be obvious that I like her because there is no other reason that I would ask for her, after all she can’t hit me and she doesn’t like to go in the vains that I prefer (and they are very aware of where I prefer to go). So maybe it won’t be too much of a surprise for her if I asked her.


Remembered past

Last Wednesday I went into surgery. The night before I had dreamt of the girl that I am still in love with after 4 or 5 years in which I haven’t even seen her. Spent the entire day thinking about her and convinced myself that in the next couple of weeks that I would try to find her again to see if I could somehow get back together with her.

That is why I am more than a little shocked by what happened Friday. I needed to go in and get an infusion in the chemotherapy unit even though I do not have cancer… and the nurse absolutely won me over. She was awesome in every way. She wasn’t hugely tall, but not short. She was cute, had red-hair, which I don’t normally go for but worked with her. She had lots of earrings which I dug, told me she used to have an eyebrow ring, and I like that punk side. I think she was a couple years younger than me but not too much younger. She had only worked there for 5 months. I had never seen her before even though I had been going in for a couple of months. But what really got me was her personality. She was quite perky which again I usually don’t go for, but she was sarcastic at the same time, which I love because I am too. She was awesome. I was amazed and I walked away thinking of her. I can’t stop thinking of her in fact and now I sit wondering what the etiequette is on trying to hit on a nurse. Is it ok to ask a nurse for her phone number? I wonder if she has a boyfriend. I wonder if she would date a patient with… even if I don’t have the problems that her other patients have, I still have issues that someone may not want to deal with. On the other hand perhaps the fact that she became a nurse means that she might be more open to that than an average person might. So many issues. I will see if I can get her on Tuesday when I see her again.


Saw Davinci Code today, never read the book, but thought the movie was pretty good and interesting. Predictable as well, perhaps it was done better in the book but I knew who the bad guy was and who the bloodline would be fairly early in the film. Those were the two big surprises about it so I guess they weren’t that great. I thought it was a very entertaining movie however.

Being a christian, I for one didn’t have any problems seeing this movie. It wasn’t that controversial to me. It was a very interesting theory, I don’t think it is particularly likely but I liked seeing the book of Philip quoted… haven’t read that one yet, but I have read part of the book of Thomas and the quote they used in the movie was also referenced in Thomas. The movie didn’t change my views at all. I am, however, a curious fellow who likes seeing the biblical stories from different angles, and this one was fairly well done. So I guess I don’t see what the fuss is all about. My friend, who is a more traditional religious person, said it best.. the ending essentially says what is important, it is the message of Jesus that is important, some of the other things don’t really matter… like if he had a child or not… and if he had a bloodline… who cares? If this sort of thing really happened and would really make someone stop believing in God if they knew it happened, then perhaps they didn’t have a very strong faith in the first place. The feeling of God is with me regardless of my knowledge of Jesus. I know he is with me not because the book tells me he is, but because he himself has shared his presence with me. And that belief would not be shaken by anything that happened to Jesus. And it also doesn’t make anything Jesus any less meaningful, in fact if anything it makes what he did here even more meaningful. But that is just me.


Yesterday was my birthday, turned 28. I think that the only reason 30 is such a big age for people is because other people make it a big deal for them. One thing I noticed this year is how everyone started saying to me “30 is just 2 years away!” And I’m like, well geez, who cares? But you know if I have to hear this next year and rolling into my 30th year, I could certainly understand why some people might start feeling depressed about turning 30. It kind of sucks having everyone make something a big deal that it isn’t.

Overall a fairly good birthday though. I don’t like parties or anything so that didn’t happen. Got into a deal with my sister and my brother for no presents on birthdays since we all have such a hard time for christmas already. So I don’t get many birthday presents. I did get $50 from my best friend and $75 from my mother, and another $25 gift card at best buy from my friend’s mom, and a $5 gift certificate from my mom at best buy, so I plan on combining all that to buy myself a good quality camera. I will probably buy the camera from Amazon or something and then use the gift cards at best buy to buy 1GB of flash memory to hold all the pictures on. I’ve heard most people say 500MB is big enough, but I wanna be safe… I don’t want to be feeling like i need to buy another memory card anytime in the future… this is it. As for the camera… I’m not really sure what to get. Right now the big debat is as to whether I should get a decent sized camera or whether I should get a smaller pocket-sized camera. Both have their ups and downs. Smaller camers are easy to carry around, I never would have to worry about it, just stick it in my pocket and I’m good. This is also good on some level since I don’t particularly like looking like I have a lot of stuff hanging around me. I like being inconspicuous. On the other hand, I hate the tininess of the pocket cameras… There is something nice about a decent sized camera with a nice grip to it. It feels good in the hands. Plus, I already have a phone and wallet in my pocket, and sometimes GPS device… chances are a camera would be too much to add to my many gizmos in my pocket. (We also don’t include stuff that I don’t always carry around but could in the Nintendo DS and my PDA). The small cameras don’t always seem to have the best features on them either… optical zoom especially. And to be honest one thing I really want out of this camera is a camera that will last me 5 or 6 years… so in that I want a camera that has manual controls, good megapixels and a good zoom so that I know I won’t feel outdated…

I have the small camera and the mid-size camera picked out my larger ones are between a Cannon SP2 I think it is called… it has like 12x optical and 5MP, it has a nicer grip IMO and an on-camera panorama stitch helper which is nice because I love panoramic pictures! The other is a Panasonic FZ7… it saves in TIFF, while the cannon saves only JPEG and it is also a little smaller and about $5 cheaper. I think it also has a built in recharabeable battery. Most reviews I’ve read prefer AA batteries instead of a built-in one because it is easier to replace while traveling. But to be honest I don’t see this as a big deal> I don’t travel much and not having to deal with batteries is a huge plus in my book. The down side of the Panasonic is that it doesn’t get quite as good of reviews, they don’t have a proven name brand for cameras, the grip doesn’t feel as nice, and it doesn’t feel quite as sturdy as the Cannon does. So even if I decided on the bigger cameras, I have a lot of choices to resolve.

I will hopefully get this narrowed down further if a decent sale pops up.

Lost Bible

Last night I couldn’t get to sleep because I was thinking about the Nag Hammadi and Book of Judas biblical texts. I’ve been thinking for a long time on a way to do something with them, perhaps writing a book that comments on them, or something like that. But last night I stayed up till midnight doing nothing but copying and pasting them from web sites into word and then formatting them to be similar to what you see in the Bible. So far I’ve done the Gospels and the Apocalypses and the Acts of Peter. I don’t know what will come of this, I don’t have any idea what copyright law has to say about translations. Obviously the texts would be public domain due to how old they are, but are their translations? Do the people who translate the texts have rights to the English versions? Or can I use them freely as long as credit is given? I’m not really sure on the technicalities of these, so what I might do is just collect the texts together in a single book, publish a single copy for myself and use it like I would use the Bible. Right now I’m doing basic formatting… I’m making sure they are all in a small 10-point Times New Roman font, in standard formats (indentations and what have you), two columns, with a line between the column like you see in modern bibles. I also have the title in a large bold arial font, and I have verse beginnings in bold as well, though I think modern bibles tend to use arial for that as well. I haven’t really done much to add chapters, verses, or section titles like we see in the bible past what the translators and original writers have done. I’m not really sure how to handle this, so I’m going to go back after I’ve gotten it all in a book and read it all to see where breaks could go. One problem I foresee is a book like the Gospel of Thomas, which is just a list of sayings. Each ones has been numbered, but there doesn’t seem to be logic to them all, some of them are extremely long which would make me want to add more verses to them, and some of them are too short to be chapters. It is probably this type of stuff, in addition to the difficulty some people had reading these texts, that omitted them from the Bible. I also then plan on going back through to non Nag Hammadi texts such as Enoch and putting them in this bible as well. The idea behind the whole thing is to get together a companion for the Bible of texts that for some reason the Church has decided to chastize. Maybe in each one give a history of the book and ponderings as to why the text might have been omitted from the Bible. Then, once done I would take it and pass it around to church goers that I know to see what they say about it, and if they like it print them copies. If it proves to be extremely popular, perhaps I can go on and then sell it to the public and see how copyright works with translations. It is a good idea though, and I think is long overdue.


Somehow got sick over the weekend. Went geocaching in the cold and rain, may have had something to do with it. At least I found the cache=)

I keep thinking about the precedural programming that Will Wright is doing with Spore. I don’t know exaclty what it entails but I keep thinking of how to incorporate it into MMORPGs. Wright says that each creatures is a couple MBs at the largest, maybe even down to several KBs. And these are complicated 3D models that are customized. I keep thinking how cool it would be if a crafter could create his own weapons and armor, designed how he likes them in a procedural wal. They likely wouldn’t take as much space as a full creature in spore… if you could get than number to literally 5-6 kbs per item, this type of behavior could be doable in future MMOs… This would be a boon to the genre where players have been complaining for over a decade about how they can’t leave a mark on the world, this would allow them to do so. Maybe we wouldn’t have as many different options as Spore offers creatures. But when I sit of all the various looks of player characters in Star Wars Galaxies and City of Heroes, I wonder why this couldn’t be done to some degree with a crafting system. It would really make it worth doing.

I need to talk to my advisor to see if I can get an internship at Raven Software here in town. She said when I transfered that maybe she could get me one later, and I think now is the right time to ask her. After struggling the first couple of semesters, i feel that I finally pieced things together this semester. I got 3 ABs, a BC and a grade yet to be announced. The 3 ABs alone give me more confidence that perhaps Raven would be interested in me coming in as an intern over the summertime at the very least. Even if that doesn’t work out, I got a class next semester that is grad level and orientated around game design and women. I’m really jazzed for that class.

I got something wrong with my computer. It is bad memory somewhere, but it is likely bad graphics memory instead of system memory. Games are crashing after playing them for awhile, and sometimes it crashes the entire system. But this only happens in games, outside of games I don’t have any problems at all. A new graphics card may not be so horrible… I was waiting to get new memory until Vista came out because I figured that is a good time to upgrade my computer. I’ve heard that with Vista every time you change your motherboard you will need to buy a new copy… so it will be a great time to pick up a new motherboard… and with a new mobo you need a new CPU and memory. So if I pick up a video card now I would be saving myself cash later. Only problem is that I would really need to find a vid card that is DX10 compatible and I don’t think any are coming out till later this year. Not sure if I am willing to pay premium prices for that….

Spores away.

Ok so like a couple weeks ago I said I was going to be dedicating like 15 minutes a day to this blog and I never did it until now because, well finals were this week and I had 5 papers, 2 finals, an oral final, and 2 presentations to give. Well now I’m done and I can get on with my life.

E3 is going on right now if you haven’t noticed. And I’ve been paying a ton of attention to it. Sony dropped the ball, honestly they should have done what Nintendo did with the name and announced their price last week so everyone could let out the steam before E3. Now the whole talk of the show in regards to Sony is how are the marginally better games than the 360 worth $200 extra. If Nintendo ships at $200 you might not even be able to justify the graphic difference for the $400 extra. Microsoft I think actually did a pretty decent job given they haven’t got anything too new (console wise). GTA4 exclusive firsties I am sure will please a lot of people, Halo 3 will please alot of people, but neither will likely be out this year. They announced a ton of new arcade games like Contra, Street Fighter 2, and Pac Man and this is probably the best thing out of the 360. It never ceases to amaze me that the best thing about this $400 piece of equipment is 20 year old games from systems that only cost $150 when they came out. (If that). Everything else on the 360 is lame. However, I do think the Live Everywhere was also a great idea, why not. Nintendo did a poor job for the pre-show but I think the show is going much better htan the other two. They should have shown the new gun attachment, i think people would have eaten that up. I also am not sure why they aren’t sharing price and date given that we know Sony’s and this would have really put Sony in the grave, especially if they could come out a month before Sony.

But bar none the best of E3 IMO is Spore. Check out the attached link for a demonstration (has Robin WIlliams in it too). THis game I already will declare the best game EVER created. EVER. It is simply amazing. I sit there and watch it and wonder how anyone can top this. You get to make your creatures how you want them, to the finest details… those creatures are downloaded to other people spontaneously and you get theirs. This also goes into creating buildings, vehicles, cities, worlds… it is amazing. And on top of this, the game is like 10 in one. You have the pac-man like cell game, you have the action-adventure creature game, you have sims-like socialization, simcity city building, civilization conquest, space exploration, space conquest, and even trading cards!! Good god this is so awesome. At first I was thinking well how are they going to expand? I honestly wondered this because the editing you can do is so extremely detailed why not do it yourself? But it seems the game right now is only land animals so perhaps we will see flying creatures, water creatures, plants, bug creatures (not sure if this would be possible), and hell space creatures… then you could get into different parts, colors, and meshes, maybe even new behaviors, or new mini-games. They have all types now, but can you think of the possibilities. You could create whole worlds, as you want them. Tolkien would have loved this. I cannot wait for this game. And it already looks soooo polished already! Though we have only really seen the space game, creature game, and cell game so the civilization and city must not be quite ready. Though I bet city building won’t be too much of a stretch considering this is from the guy who created SimCity in the first place. Too bad that we are going to have to wait till 2007 for this, and probably not till like thanksgiving. Maybe Wright will give us an early x-mas present and get it ready for next summer! I could probably spend the entire summer on this game.